A letter 11:09 PM

Dear Cutie,

This is the beginning of a love letter.

The reason I say that this is the beginning of a letter, and not a complete one, is because I will never be able to explain exactly how I feel about you in one little blog post. However, I think it will be a good start to a letter that I plan on writing every day, for the rest of my life.

I'm not even sure how to begin this... you are everything to me.

When I joined the paper, the only things that I really had on my mind were that I would be meeting new people, maybe I'd gain a friend or two, and I'd have a good time. If you would have told me that 1. I'd meet the perfect girl 2. she would eventually fall in love with me and 3. that perfect girl would actually only live a few miles away from me... I totally would have laughed.

We faced our first setback when we were both staff writers at the same time. I was a shining star at the news desk while you dropped the course. It didn't matter, because we would meet later. You were a writer when I was an assistant editor. You were cute, and from Lockport, and I noticed you. However, you always ran away right after class and I didn't get much chance to talk with you.

Flash forward a couple of months. We had a little discussion about which writers we wanted to make assistants. You were a clear, unanimous decision. I was excited... you would be my assistant. We went to Chefs for our little Christmas party and you looked so cute. We got free cheese bread. Haha

Flash forward to the next semester. I had a thing for you, but as soon as you muttered the word "boyfriend" I dropped back. I didn't want to be that guy again.

Fate would play us differently.

We went to Sole a few weeks after the semester started. You asked for a ride. I said, sure, why not? We were talking on the way there. It was honestly some of the best conversation I have ever had with a girl that I knew so little about. We seemed to have some sort of connection, though at the time I could never have predicted its magnitiude.

Still, we both pushed on with our separate relationships for some time. My little crush on you grew slowly, yours a bit more quickly.

Then came the bigger setback. You went to NYC on a trip with the others. I didn't. You got close with someone. I didn't like that. When you came back and were being overly friendly with him, and when other people were saying things, I withdrew. A lot. My heart can only take so much before I go crazy, and I could feel that old familiar pain.

I upset you. I'm sorry. I will never make up for that mistake, though I plan on trying.

Still, we watched our stupid videos, we laughed and joked occasionally. I never stopped liking you. In fact, I could feel it growing stronger every day, despite my attempts to keep it at bay.

Then came the ball game. You were drunk. So was I. A creep kept hitting on you. I switched over to protective boyfriend mode... something I wasn't expecting. Then you went missing. That's when I clicked. Searching through those wide halls of the stadium, I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could call you mine.

Everything progressed from there, slowly at first, but more quickly later on, until we reached the point we're at today.

When I first saw you in late August/early September, I would have never guessed that we would end up together. There is no way I could have known you were the perfect girl.

We click so well on every level.

We laugh, we joke, we read and eat and sleep. We write and edit. We talk, we stare, we taste and touch, smell and listen.

Every single on of your qualities matches up with one of mine in some way. You are the pickle to my peanut butter. You are the ketchup to my grilled cheese. You mean everything to me and more.

When we were made we were set apart. And I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes. Like puzzle pieces from the clay. So brown eyes I hold you near, cause you're the only song I want to hear. A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

It kills me to know that you were so close before, just right down the road, and we could have never met.

You and I, the couple who can talk about anything, laugh about anything, and do anything together. We could have never met. It's so scary, yet it fills me with a sense of fulfillment. We did meet, and things are perfect.

I wake up every day to your beautiful face on my mind. I fall asleep every day thinking the same. Every second in between is for you. You are always on my mind. Your love is always in my heart.

I'm very lucky to have you and I plan on keeping you forever. And when forever is over, I'll keep you one more day.

You make me believe in soul mates and providence and fate.

I love you. I always will. That's a promise I will never break. My heart won't let me.

-Ren

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Coming soon... 1:32 AM

I was going to write a really epic post tonight but I got tired all of a sudden.

Expect to see it soon.

...no crescendo? 8:50 AM

I honestly believe that this is a mountain without a peak.

I keep climbing, higher and higher, every day.

Just when I think I can't possibly love her any more than I already do...

...just when I think I have climbed high enough to push open the gates to heaven...

...I climb even higher, guided gently from behind by her calming winds.

Still, my legs are strong, my heart is pumping, and my dreams are set...

I could climb this mountain forever.

And I will.

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I know what they want and I know they don't want me to stay 10:40 PM

Pro: she actually has friends and spends time with them.

Con: she doesn't really talk to me much when she's with them, but I can understand that.

The pro outweighs the con in this situation by a landslide, I know from experience that girls without friends are absolutely nuts, but that doesn't mean I still won't be a little sad.

Plus there's one that I don't really trust...

I just need to hear her voice at least once a day. Is that so much to ask?

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I love Dave Eggers 1:09 PM

We are disadvantaged but young and virile. We walk the halls and the playground, and we are taller, we radiate. We are orphans. As orphans, we are celebrities. We are foreign exchange people, from a place where there still are orphans. Russia? Romania? Somewhere raw and exotic. We are the bright new stars born of a screaming black hole, the nascent suns burst from the darkness, from the grasping void of space that folds and swallows - a darkness that would devour anyone not as strong as we.

Secret garden.. 8:52 AM

We went for a walk the other day and found the most amazing, pretty little patch of flowers nestled deep in a hillside on the Northern bank of the Erie Canal. The colors were a stunning mix of purple, white, and the most natural green I think I've ever seen.

What makes this patch of heaven even more special is the fact that probably nobody else has taken the time to notice it, and nobody else besides my girlfriend and I can understand just how perfect it is.

I think that our secret garden is a very fitting allegory for our relationship.

There have been, and there continue to be, problems with people who just don't get us.

I had to give a strong lecture to several of my cousins because they chided me for entering a new relationship so quickly after an old one ended, and for spending so much time with my new love.

Similarly, I faced some initial problems with friends due to the fact that I was single for only four days and now I spend a significant amount of time with my new girlfriend.

Now, it seems like cutie is facing the same problem.

People on the outside just don't get our relationship. We are remarkably close. It's almost like we complete each other. We are puzzle pieces designed to fit together.

At the same time, we're fine to spend some time apart, but people just assume that we can't be split up for a few hours so they don't even bother to ask.

The song "Such Great Heights" by the band Postal Service seems 100 percent suitable for life right now.

They will see us waving from such great heights,
"come down now", they'll say.
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now", but we'll stay...

I think it was Dwayne in Little Miss Sunshine who said; "you do what you love and fuck the rest."

no worries. 12:58 AM

A very wise friend (!) once told me that life always seems to work out. And even though I already had adopted that philosophy as my own, at the time it helped out more than she knew.

Today, I got my financial aid figures for next semester. Prior to recieving these, I spent a lot of time worrying about how I was going to make ends meet during the school year.

I'm not sure if the numbers went up because my mom lost her job, or if Obama had something to do with it, but now I'll be able to quit People Inc. with no worries (yesss! FMJ!).

I'll also have enough money to hit up Shea's a few times with cutie and buy her some sick Christmas gifts (I have so many ideas). It would be sweet if the boss could hook me up with that phone job too, for added economic security.

That's not all. The title of this post has sort of a double meaning...

Cutie, I know your friends made you sad, but life always seems to work out. I have you, you have me, and together we can work out all of the problems that life throws at us.

I promise.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]